Private Eye can now be worn by Medic and Demoman
Detective Fortress GO
New York Comics Con attendee cosplays as every Johnny Depp character at once.
Stand back, Ole Uncle Max is gonna make something delicious
Here’s the shit you need:
- Almond milk (or vanilla soy milk or coconut milk or whatever, even cow milk too I guess if you’re one of those filthy lactose-digesters)
- Canned pumpkin, just regular pumpkin, not that pumpkin pie mix crap what is wrong with you why would you buy that
- Pumpkin pie spice(s) - if you don’t want to use a spice premix just get some ground cinnamon (I said cinnamon not cassia get out of my kitchen), nutmeg, ground cloves and ground ginger
- A frozen banana (or two because I’m a fatass and I’m gonna make a shit ton of smoothie here)
- Some kind of sweetener which I forgot to put in the lineup; stevia, agave syrup, pure maple syrup, powdered honey or brown sugar are all gr8
- Vanilla extract if you want
- Not an ingredient but you’re gonna need a blender or something
Peel your frozen bananas, cut it up into 1-inch chunks or so and chuck that in your blender
Chuck in most of the can of pumpkin (or half if you are using only one banana), and a bunch of almond milk. The fuck is measuring? Fuck off with that shit!
Well okay I guess that’d be like 3/4 cup pumpkin and 1 cup milk or so if you aren’t a cool enough dude to shun recipe measurements
Add some vanilla extract if you want; a small splash or half a teaspoon
Awright so normally I shun “pumpkin pie spice” mixes, mostly as they are just cassia, nutmeg and ginger and get out with this cassia shit, also where is the clove, but Trader Joe’s continues to serve me admirably.
So dump some of that tasty shit in there! It’s up to you how much you like; I love all of those wonderful flavours listed up there so I’m gonna chuck in like a heaping teaspoon. (Individually it’d be like a good shake or a little over 1/4 tsp each of cinnamon, clove, ginger and nutmeg)
Add some of your sweetener. I put in about three spoons of pure maple syrup, because that shit’s pretty drinkable. You might need to do some extra blending if you use sugar or honey to make sure it gets all mixed in evenly.
Get ready to see some magic. Also make sure you put the goddamn lid on before you press any buttons
Don’t forget to give your horrible thundering howlbeast some pumpkin or something so he doesn’t eat the skin off your feet. (If you don’t have a thundering howlbeast, either get one, or thank whatever you find Just and Holy that you don’t have one.)
After the blending happens, dump that thick, creamy, pumpkiny magic into a glass and admire it for a moment. I guess you could sprinkle some more cinnamon on top or even add a dab of whipped cream or whatever, but that’s just more time you’re spending not pouring it into your face hole, so get on that already warrrrgarbl
it’s time to remind everyone about this
so I stumbled across an ancient (and long forgotten) photobucket account of mine and found a stash of old photos. like really old photos. most of them are nearly a decade old.
among them were a bunch of selfies. here are a few of those.
holy shit just look at me.
how I’ve changed.
especially that last one. wow. i used to be so pretty. and way healthier. tho in some of these you can tell i was starting to become underweight. i’ve got the opposite problem now— go figure. my metabolism is extremely erratic and tied to a lot of factors beyond my control.
and jeezus I still remember that terribad swamp-green hair (the remains of a really bright teal/lime dye mix that looked sweet in its prime)
lol that old oversized septum ring. and just the whole derpasaurus sort of style I had back then. makes me laff now
but the memories attached to several of these pics are not at all funny. it’s actually hard for me to recall those days without tearing up. i’ll stop here.
Dear RED spy,
With a cocky attitude like that it’s only a matter of time until you’re burned.
I don’t think Amy’s hidden rainbow got enough love. So here.
fr commission lol god damn i love dragons
An enormous fossil ammonite that has turned into ammolite
Cooper wishes everyone a very happy Halloween!
I was sick of feeling so insecure about my recent psoriasis flare-up. So for the first time, instead of hiding and hating my own skin, I decided to embrace my flaws and wear my spots with pride. Turning my spots into leopard print with a little artwork.
Ten years of experience (via punkasspoet)
I once had a therapist tell me that having an anxiety disorder is like having a faulty alarm system wired up in your brain — instead of going off just when there’s danger (like it would for somebody without an anxiety disorder), it goes off all the time, over little things that don’t actually warrant an anxious response at all. It’s like one of those asshole smoke detectors that everyone’s dealt with at some point or another, the ones that go off whenever you turn on the oven or try to cook something on the stove — you can yell “OH MY GOD, I’M JUST BOILING WATER” all you want, but the stupid thing is going to blare on undeterred. That’s what having an anxiety disorder is like: it’s the smoke detector, and you’re the person on the ground yelling “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, THERE ISN’T ANY FUCKING FIRE.”
Under normal circumstances I don’t talk about my mental health stuff on the internet much — out of anxiety, actually, more than anything else — but I wanted to chime in here because I think this is something people really don’t understand about anxiety disorders. Friends: we know it’s irrational. We know we need to calm down, that things aren’t as bad as we think they are, that our reactions are making things worse than they need to be, that it’s all in our heads. We know. It’s what makes it all so incredibly infuriating, because in life you can just — you know, smack the smoke detector with a broom or take the batteries out or something. An anxiety disorder doesn’t work like that, though god, I wish it did; it requires years of work and active effort and (for some of us) medication to dial down our reactions, even when we know, right down to our bones, that our reactions are wrong.
If you’ve ever read that when someone is having an anxiety attack, it’s not helpful to say “Calm down” or “Stop panicking” or shit like that: this is why. We are saying that crap in our heads already, only we are saying it louder than you, and with more frustration and self-loathing, because we have been trying without success to calm down and stop panicking for the balance of our lives.
I know it can be exasperating to deal with someone with anxiety — boy, do I. I deal with an anxious personality every waking minute of every single day, and let me tell you there are times I want to smack myself with a broom, take out my batteries, and let my whole fucking house burn down. But the thing is, if you have someone in your life with anxiety and their shit is bugging the hell out of you, you have an option at your disposal that they don’t: you can walk away. And if you’re someone who gets frustrated by other people’s anxiety, who can’t be patient, whose very nature compels them to point out that it’s not a big deal and we need to calm down and we’re making it more than it is — that’s okay, everyone has shit they can’t deal with, but use that option. Walk away. Tune it out. Don’t pile on, because that’s actually so counterproductive to the goal of getting the calm, rational person you know out from beneath their anxiety. The more you say the things we’re already thinking (this is stupid, just shut up already, calm down, this isn’t a big deal, why can’t you calm down), the more we become convinced everything in our heads is true, and the longer it takes us to shut it down.
As always, the best way to be helpful to someone with any kind of mental illness is to ask them, ideally during a time when they are calm and in control: what can I do, what do you need, what should I avoid doing, is there anything that helps. But short of that, I can’t tell you how helpful it is to have people in my life that I know aren’t going to echo back at me the shit I’m already yelling at myself. So: try not to do that to people. That’s all we’re asking. Try not to.
I bolded some parts. I hope that’s okay. The quote and the commentary are all so great, though. Everyone should read all of this.